


I Won't Wait

by Duchesse



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Female Reader, Femslash, Gender-neutral Reader, Romance, Spoilers, au-ish, it's actually kinda bittersweet idk how it happened, rey femflash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 19:29:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5882734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duchesse/pseuds/Duchesse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Preceding Rey’s departure to Ahch-To to find Luke, she’s confronted by you.</p><p>[Rey x reader]</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Won't Wait

**Author's Note:**

> jumpin' aboard the hella gay rey boat, full throttle.
> 
> the reader character in this is more gender neutral, but in future stuff i'll write, definitely gay.
> 
> well, lemme know your thoughts and if you have any requests, hit me up.
> 
> btw this is kinda au-ish compared to how the events of the movie played out. but whatev.

There was a heavy solemnity that hung in the air and in the hearts of the resistance on D’Qar. While the battle on Starkiller was dubbed a success and followed by a night of joviality, no one felt the sweet embrace of relief. The celebrations were nothing but a ruse to the burden everyone continued to feel, and it was all they could do in the remembrance of the dead. There was little time to mourn, to be bogged down by emotions that wouldn’t bring about the change they desired. Still, through that endless expanse of darkness, they found a light that birthed hope.

The confidence that your comrades carried in themselves now was refreshing, inspiring you to hold back your tears and push yourself through the passing days with the same vigor as them. They found hope within themselves and strength in camaraderie.

But, you found yours in Rey.

Word reached your ears shortly after her return from Starkiller of the perilous journey she was to embark on. You recalled the flicker of panic in her eyes when you pleaded for her to bring you along. It was a foolhardy request; you had nothing to offer to this fight. You weren’t strong with the force, nor were you a pilot or a general–or anything significant, really. All you could offer was a pleasant smile for patients to wake up to before you called in the doctor.

In spite of this, it didn’t stop you from trying. Rey was someone you wanted to protect, even if you didn’t completely understand why. You would offer your limited expertise and excellent bedside manner to her, if only that meant you would be at her side.

It wasn’t a surprise when she hastily turned you away, forgetting to craft a clever excuse as she put a greater distance between you both and left. The days thereafter, you would only catch glimpses of her from the corner of your eye before she vanished entirely. She purposely and skillfully avoided you, even up until the day of her departure.

You found her preparing to board the Millennium Falcon, she noticed you approach and stiffened as though she had just been caught in a crime. From where she was bent at the waist, she rotated her jaw and slowly straightened up. It didn’t hurt as much as you anticipated to have her respond to you in that way. You didn’t stop.

“So, you’re leaving now? I thought that you’d hang around a little longer than that.”

“I’ve done enough waiting,” Rey said with a scoff. She set aside her belongings and walked over to meet you. It set butterflies aflutter in your stomach as she stopped in front of you, a small smile worked its ways onto your lips. The sight of your smile coaxed one of her own, though taut and uncomfortable.

“Would you have left without saying so?” 

As simple of a question that it was, Rey seemed to have a hard time answering. She couldn’t hold your gaze and trained it elsewhere, observing the way the green grass danced against the gentle breeze and the curious onlookers huddled together as they whispered among one another. While you lived your life often in a rush, you couldn’t bring yourself to push her for a response. The calmness that surrounded you ebbed away the frustrations you had built up inside. 

Once she left, there would be no more moments like these. You would be alone in the base and Rey would be fulfilling her destiny. She would go on to become something greater while you would stuck in routine, day in and day out. You let the anger dissipate so you could enjoy her presence, even if it lasted but a few minutes.

“I thought it was for the best, knowing how you felt and wanted,” Rey started, she lifted her eyes to meet yours once more. “But, I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

You released a sigh through your nose and stepped closer to her, raising your hands to caress the skin on her shoulders. Gooseflesh rose beneath your fingertips as you touched her, but she made no show of discomfort or to move away from your hands. 

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” you assured her, stroking her arms lightly. “I’m just going to miss you. You’ll be far away from me and for who knows for how long.”

Rey’s minute smile twitched, eyebrows furrowing like she was holding something back. You were surprised to feel her hands weight down on your wrists, anchoring yours to her shoulders as she moved closer. Compared to the skin on her shoulders which was smooth, her hands were dry and calloused. You hardly would describe the texture as unpleasant. 

It was more than you could take. You leaned forward and pressed your forehead against hers, easily freeing your wrists to thread your fingers through hers instead. She was the first to grip tightly, reaffirming that you were there with her and you wouldn’t leave just yet.

“I don’t expect you to wait for me.” It was the truth and you knew that. You remembered the time she told you about her life on Jakku. By the end of her tale, you had been in tears and your heart ached. You couldn’t do to her what her family had. That false sense of hope, those years of waiting.

More than that, you also knew your own feelings.

You turned her hand and planted to kiss on her knuckles. “I’m not going to, Rey. We both have our own stories that will unfold as they’re meant to. My hope is that our paths will meet again, someday.”

Rey bobbed her forehead against yours roughly, her chin dimpling as she pursed her lips and sniffed. You could see that her face and ears were red, tears brimming her eyelashes. She didn’t allow herself to cry, instead she wiped them away as they threatened to fall, her palm still flat against yours.

When she finally backed away from you, the air became colder and smile on your lips soured a little as well. She fiercely swiped at her eyes before she sniffed once again to clear her nose, offering you a smile that reached her eyes.

You didn’t follow her as she packed her belongings back onto her person and walked the ramp into the Falcon. As it began to close, she stopped at the opening and looked back at you. She stayed like that until neither of you could see one another anymore.

The Millennium Falcon was gone far too soon and you were left alone to stare at the endless expanse of blue and white overhead for sometime. 

Surely, you hurt her this way. You trusted it was for the best.

In the end, that girl was untouchable. Her light so brilliant and pure. She was on a path where you couldn’t tread and would never reach again.


End file.
